Time stills. Memories lag on their march to the forefront of my line of thought. A heavy thrum thump of cherished moments drag their feet like slow-motion characters on parade. Far gone interactions are grayish and frayed with tintype residue like emotional scars. In circles and one/two step, they dance before my closed eyes: dreamy and luring. What is this show? Am I dead? Is this my life “flashing”? Every jarring experience, every regret and embarrassment, every blunder and joyous accomplishment creep in tandem like a circus stuck to an eternal merry-go-round. Hellish. Profound, but I do not know what it means. My head is spinning – too slowly, like a wooden spoon stirring caramel. The processional quickens. A whirr of the projector hums from behind as all memories blur. I have forgotten. The ringleader grows silent, the tent lights dim, the clowns re-squeeze into their bug. In the morning, only dust and popcorn shells will remain. What does it all mean? Where is the tunnel and light near the end? Does it really only just fade black into nothing? Am I nothing? Was I always nothing?
Do you fear death? I do not personally, but I have heard that this is a common fear. The majority of people fear the possibilities of what lies beyond life. What about you? What scares you most about death? Many fear being forgotten. Some fear hell and torment. Others assume blissful nothingness or paradise awaits, yet fear their own doubts. If someone were able to give you the guarantee of life after death would you take it?
“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.” ~Jesus
My soul floats on a bohemian rhythm. Drums crash and seduce the tambourine to dance like waves lapping at the gritty sand between my toes. Piano keys tinker below the wild celebration of my wilder nature, hinting at a subtle change of tune. As the drums reside like a receding heartbeat, a violin surges to the forefront of the symphony. Cello joins the chorus. A sweet melancholy ensues. Pulsing, swaying, flying atop the strings of music like a bejeweled gypsy, I find balance in the two genres. The drums rise from beneath. The tambourine rattles back to life. In the distance is the blaring horn rejoicing in redemption of my soul adding jazzy blues to the rhythm of my walk upon the soils of this earth. The cello moans. The violin wails. All together my head is spinning and my body is spinning and my arms are open wide and my skirts are twirling in vibrant colors of magenta and midnight stars and my heart is thrumming and my voice is whistling, beckoning the moon to sing and the sun to shine and the moment to never end. My life slips into eternity as all things meet their crescendo and fade. Left behind is the steady hum of the drum as my heart keeps beating.
The problem with any sort of philosophical, spiritual or political question is the lack of a simple answer. All modern debates depend upon complex streams of reasoning. Another problem is that modern people like simple answers. We want the quick fix, the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. We want to be satisfied with the yes/no/you’re crazy solution. We want others to do the thinking and fill in the test questions. We are the Simple Answer People who trust commercials and money-hungry, global tycoons. We are the ones who are okay with biased education because the alternative may be better but requires work or admittance of ignorance. We like food stamps and government checks and microwave meals and free vaccines. We like religion that does not require much and makes us feel good, or no religion at all because science “has all the answers.” Ha! We argue organic and eat McDonalds. We are lazy, childish, I-want-it-now people who do not like to consider the long-term costs or effects. We do not read the terms and agreements. We trample people for shoes sales. We go to church without any reason to do so other than what makes us look good for others. We do not ask questions or demand well-researched answers. We immediately trust what someone says because they have been on T.V. or have written a book – does not matter if they are actually worth listening to or not. Honestly, it is pathetic. God forbid that we have to defend our own worldviews without immediately jumping to the conclusion that someone who disagrees with us or makes us think outside of the safety-bubble is a total bigot or loon. We want to see the world grow and prosper, but we do not want to grow up. Age does not mean squat anymore. All that age does today is make people bitter, stubborn and resistant to change. Especially if you have only “grown up” absorbing and regurgitating pre-approved materials rather than broadening your perspectives, you are highly prone to being unable to recognize your own intolerance, ignorance and bigotry. It is ridiculous.
Christianity is all about love, right? Forgiveness and grace. Sure. But, Christianity is also about righteous judgment. The goal is not to breed ignorant people who complacently accept the world without realizing who is currently in control of all that the world stands for: wickedness. Come on, guys! Jesus barreled through the temple wielding a whip and flipping tables when he saw the careless atrocities happening in the house of God, a house of prayer. Our minds are houses for intellect. It is perfectly natural, then, to get frustrated and furious when I see others carelessly committing crimes against their intellect. I want to charge through people’s minds and shock them back to life, back to reality, back to focus and inquisitiveness that makes us strives to know more than what is simply bottle-fed to us via movies and sold-out news programs.
Ranting is so unbecoming, guys, and yet, here I am ranting away to people who browse blogs that only make them comfortable. They press a “like” button and move on. Does it hurt to comment and force a writer to defend their musings? No! Come on. Challenge the norm, folks. Exercise your brains. Use the intellect you have to further your intellect. Challenge the question. Challenge the answer. Demand a complex solution that requires genuine work and change. Put effort into your souls. Why are you so soul-thirsty and yet unwilling to drink? You may have to swallow a few gulps of bad beer before you get to the crystal clear water that offers life, but would not the trial be worth it? Stop being simple answer people.
Offended? Good. Scream it at me. Explain why you are above the mold. Defend yourself or prove me right.