In the past, I would have considered that question overwhelming, but now I am here to share with you a woman transformed, redeemed and free from an existence of worry. I am an adopted daughter of God. I am a born-again Christian. I am a friend and artist and poet. I am on a mission of love to share with my friends and family and you how real God is and how much he loves you. He can be a real, loving presence in your life. I did not always have this literary calling pressed upon my heart, however. Before November of 2014, my life and goals were very different. I have always wanted to write, but I was focused on words that did not mean anything. I dappled in smut literature, horror short-fiction, mystic poetry. I found the Zodiac to be fascinating and possibly quite accurate. I had frequent sexual relations with a man I was not married to. I smoked pot. I cursed like a sailor. I was not really concerned about furthering my education, and I liked to blame my circumstances rather than myself. You see, 2012 was a very rough year for me. I had gotten my first apartment in Dallas. I was going to school, on top of the world with my friends and then I met a guy. It was spring break and I had picked up some friends who I had met online to stay the week at my new place. The first night of break, he shows up out of the blue and helps me sneak into the pool. He was beautiful, sexy and clung to me like a leech, slowly sapping me of energy, money, time, care, art and faith. He moved in and became abusive. I stumbled into Hispanic gang lifestyle. I was afraid for my life. I considered taking mine with a shotgun. I experienced paranormal activity. I have seen complete emptiness in the eyes of another being.
When I finally had had enough, I had to call my father to rescue me. I moved back home, got a job, struggled with weed and sex, was a horrible witness to my best friend, never talked about my “faith”, but God did not abandon me. Slowly, my life began to shift. I worked for a year and half before deciding to go back to school. Once I was in school, God surrounded me and would not let up. He took away poisonous men. He took away poisonous drugs. He took away poisonous self-pity, depression and blame. He showed me that even though I liked to push all the fault on my ex, I was equally to blame for how I reacted and lived my life once I escaped that deadly situation. And then, he assured me that he still loved me. He assured me that forgiveness is always an option. He assured me that if I trust him and love him that my eternal future is secure at his side. This clarity overcame my dull senses on November 20th, 2014. Three days after my 24th birthday, I was born again. He blessed me with new purpose, with a calling to draw people to truth through literature. We have all been through crap. My crap may only touch the surface of emotions with which you grapple, but that essence of failure and hope is present for everyone’s circumstances and how we choose to react.
I have no idea where my life is headed and I have no clue what purpose God is giving this blog of mine, but I know that he brings all things towards good. Yep, that’s about it. It’s nothing fancy, y’all. It’s just me. I hope we can be friends, and that maybe you will come to understand God’s truth through my testimony. This is an invitation. I am holding out my hand, asking: “Wanna get some tacos and talk about Jesus?”