Famous

To the girl who…

Cannot see past a stranger’s glance
Does not know she’s loved and blessed
Refuses to accept the facts
Hates the lies she tells herself
Dreams of romance and not of grace
Hopes for fame but barfs on stage
Uses men to cling to love
Runs away when truth calls her name
Hurts herself because everyone does
Laughs far, far less than she cries
Mocks faith yet fears her death
Claims to be a failing mother
Drowns in her self-loathing
Rejects compliments and praise
Carves beauty into her skin with ink
Slices off and colors all that’s natural
Assumes she’s righteous; knows she’s not
Blames God for man’s mistakes
Feels shamed for her life choices
Lies to keep her face intact
Screams more than she kisses
Stares at bruises in the mirror
Dying to live; afraid to live
Thinks she’s fat and growing bitter
Hugs a tree but not her mother
Drinks to dull the ache inside
Smokes to glaze her eyes from seeing
Hides in dreams to escape what’s real
Abuses those she says she loves
Hangs herself in private pain

You are beautiful: afraid of the love that calls your name, yes, but loved anyways. You are precious: broken into a thousand pieces, yes, but cherished anyways. You are the shivering child who God found in a ugly heap of regret and burden: filthy and repugnant and wide-eyed with fear, yes, but adopted anyways. You are wanted. You are loved, so much honestly, that God died for you. Even if He knew that only you – only YOU – would need him to forgive you, wipe away your tears, protect you and cherish your forever, he would have still died on that cross. He would have died even if you were the only person in the whole of history that would believe and trust him. Cannot you not see that the girl who you are is not nothing but worth everything?

Because I’m White

Does your skin color define you? Does it give you credibility of opinion simply because your skin is a slight or obvious shade darker than my own? Why is it that we call differing amounts of melatonin: race? That is a very competitive word to me. Who coined that term? I look at the world and see an entire humanity struggling for the same things: love, peace and hope. I do not see “races.” Sure, we are all different. The variety of colors and cultures on this globe make us beautiful and diverse and this should spur appreciation, not fear or hatred.

It’s strange how certain people react differently to confrontation. Not aggressive even, but genuine curiosity. Others engage openly and energeticly while others prickle and retreat. I am curious if its personality or trust-based. I think people assume I am a troll at times because they cannot recognize genuine interest anymore from strangers. We are so programmed to become offended or to cause offense that true interest with a sincere attempt at building a more than superficial relationship with someone is deemed annoying or untrustworthy. I judge you. You judged me. What a mentality! Get over yourself. Stop being afraid. There are real people in the world with good intentions if you will get past your blinded presuppositions to recognize it. And what about intelligent conversations? Dang, that prickles people. Like I am trying to be haughty. Please. I read, that is it. I just want to see people get more excited about valid, in depth conversations. But, no, the invitation is too much. It’s off-putting. It’s uncharacteristic. It’s irritating. Is that because curiosity is scary by its own merit or because contending in a real conversation of depth may reveal a lack of credibility on your part to defend or articulate your own perspective of the world and its nuances? Both are scary. Sure, I push people, but to see them try to grow, to learn, or at least, show some desire of doing so. Yet, I am greeted by silence. Teachers must feel like this a lot. They stand in front of a room full of potential and witness these same reactions to what is presented. Am I so far out of the mold that I cannot relate anymore? Or is it that people in general have just given up on relating beyond the superficial? They want to be friends first when the majority of people we encounter will never move beyond an aquaintance. Do we have the right to withhold deep conversations to certain individuals or should we strive to spark life and interest in everyone we come across?

These are questions to plague the mind, but can we answer any of them if we cannot even look past each other’s skin?

 

Woman Thou Art

The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman. – Elisabeth Elliot

I proudly say that I am a feminist who observes humanity and evaluates what it means to exist through a Christian framework. My faith is the caramel swirl in the chocolate ice cream of my feminity, adding flavor and texture and personality. Christianity does not make me a worse or greater feminist. It simply dictates for me a perspective on feminism that may differ from what would be labeled “second wave” or “mainstream” or “progressive.” My faith warrants its own voice in defining what it means to be a feminist, but this does not deter me from connecting with women whose definitions differ from my own. We do not have to agree in order to understand that we all have a story to share. Our experiences shape our perceptions of what it means to be wholly feminine.

Stasi Eldredge was the first to illuminate for me a Christian perspective on feminism in her book: Captivating. Hooked from the moment she began describing a beautiful narrative of Eve as the capstone of God’s good and beautiful creation, I have been fascinated with what it means to be a Christian feminist.  

I am not angry at men. I do not desire to be “equal” with men, whatever that is supposed to mean. I have no inclination to degrade men or assume my sex and sexuality make me superior either. I also am not afraid of men though I have every right to allow fear to persuade my judgments. I believe that feminism transcends politics and the workplace, too. I respect the fight for women’s rights, but I also have observed that in our quest for certain equalities, women may have gone too far. Without realizing it, we have played directly into the expectations of our fallen state desiring more than our natural femininity. In our want to overturn a patriarchal society, we have sought a matriarchal one that forces us into a role that is not necessarily suited for our sex. What makes us women is that we are women.  We must not seek to be more than man or equal to him in ever respect because in doing so, we argue to have a better vision of our personhood than the Creator who proclaimed us as good and the apex of his glorious creation. In addition to this skewed outlook, we risk losing that which is ours, unique and solely woman.

I can say these things because they are derived from a personal understanding of what it means to be feminine. I see the world in a fallen state, corrupted and hungry and striving, in need of a Savior. Womanhood is no exception to the rule. Feminism can either be a reflection of what it was designed to be before sin, or it can be a reflection of sin and selfish desires demonstrating themselves through action, word and belief. You see two sides of a spectrum emerge, and I land more towards the right in my inclination to view femininity as wholesome when it mirrors a natural and good design, doing away with the corruptive elements of Eve’s curse.

Okay, so I have stated some generalities concerning my stance on feminism. To flesh out a proper evaluation of the current state of global feminism and form a Christian, female response would take more than a thick book. I cannot satisfy all that you may want to learn about what it means to be a Christian feminist, and you may disagree vehemently with what I have already highlighted. The fact of the matter is that I believe in feminism. I believe in being a woman held to a high personal standard – not of excellence but of natural essence. For me to discover my most intimate and revealing and whole essence is to consider myself as beautiful in the eyes of my loving Creator and Redeemer. His standard of beauty and gentleness and femininity are qualities I long to emulate because He ultimately knows what is good.